Dr. Rosalyn | I want to be Angie Stone, but I keep hearing Malcolm X

 

So I waited to write this because I knew I was reacting very strongly in the moment to what felt like just another massive slight to my identity.  In doing so, I have come to find out that the slight wasn't an unintentional dismissal of my psychic pain but an intentional effort on behalf of one individual to advance himself while denying justice to someone else.  Some of you will know that I am loosely discussing the lack of indictments handed out in the murder of Breonna Taylor.  Still others of you will know all too well that Malcom X's oft cited quote is true in ways the rest of the universe cannot grasp.  And it's made all the worse when the person injuring you could be your brother, father, significant other, friend, family or stranger just to maintain or achieve some level of power.

In the last nine days we have learned that not only did Attorney General Daniel Cameron misrepresent the grand jury proceedings, well let's face it he lied about the proceedings, but that he never presented the opportunity to indict two of the officers at all for any reason.  I mentioned in an earlier post that almost none of my Black women friends were at all shocked by the lack of indictments but we were hurt.  And no most of us do not know Daniel Cameron personally but we all know a Daniel Cameron in our lives.  Someone who won a position to be the state's prosecutor having NEVER tried a case after being hand picked by a powerful ally and then trotted out as the poster child of what Black people could do if they just pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps.  I literally hate that analogy because it implies everyone even has access to a pair of boots let alone sturdy enough straps to advance in life without some help.  Mr. Cameron most definitely was a practicing lawyer but lawyers do lots of work that do not involve being inside a courtroom and his measured misleading missive after the grand jury returned its indictment was proof to me that he never planned on anything resembling justice for Breonna Taylor or the nation of Breonnas out there watching.  He was okay invoking weak tears and decrying mob justice if it meant it appeared as though he had done something to the powerful men he owes his current career to.  The last nine days have shown me what Mr. Cameron may not have known.  When things hit the fan, they will fail to support and protect him the same way he failed to support and protect Breonna.

During that same time frame there was a secondary assault happening.  Way too many Daniel Camerons in training came out of the woodwork to blame Breonna's death, get this, on Breonna for previously dating a "bad guy" and that if she had just given "better men" a chance then she wouldn't be dead now.  I want you to consider how utterly ridiculous it is to leap to the conclusion that this woman who was in her bed in the middle of the night minding her own damn business is responsible for her death because of someone she dated in the past.  How much gall does one have to have to even think such a thing let alone speak it, blog it, repeat it to the Black women in their lives?  And not only did some of them find the energy to put that thought out into the universe, their "brothers" then started cosigning the foolishness. In that moment, I stopped hearing Angie Stone's Brotha and just kept hearing Brother Malcolm.  

No matter what we do, what we sacrifice, what we accomplish, how we support or love, at the end of literally every day Black women are judged by a standard that literally no one else is on the planet.  A Black man released a whole entire album and bad publicity to disparage his ex after get this he SHOT her and she was misguided enough to protect him.  When she told the truth, Black men made jokes and again blamed her for so many stupid reasons I cannot really wrap my head around the stupid.  If you leave an abusive spouse after you have children---you are destroying the Black family.  Put off getting married because you want to pursue your dreams--you are being selfish or my favorite who is going to take care of you/want you when you are done chasing your dreams.  Make more money than some men--you are emasculating them or a radical feminist who probably slept your way to the top.  Stay home to take care of your kids because day care annually could pay for a small house--you aren't pulling your weight in the family.  I won't even start to get into issues at work but suffice it to say we are perpetually policing our tone, speech, wardrobe and heck even our non verbals because if we don't the litany of things that we are doing well will fail to outweigh the tears we invoke and if there's a Daniel Cameron nearby he will either play both sides against the middle or encourage you to "play the game" so he doesn't end up in the line of fire.  

The hashtags #sayhername, #citeblackwomen, #believeblackwomen and #payblackwomen don't exist because we are an anomaly in these conversations but because our work and our struggles are often ignored or coopted into other conversations and we are just supposed to go along with it to advance whatever cause is going forward.  Intersectionality and anti-racism work have been around long before Professor Kendi but who is front and center on the speaking circuits and book clubs?  Does Kimberle Crenshaw get her shine?  Yes she does but I've had the opportunity to see Kendi six times this year (I only did it once and regret that) and the only time I've seen Professor Crenshaw is on a documentary.  You may be wondering how that plays into this larger conversation so let me help you connect the dots.  Black men are using the work of Black women to get larger and more book deals and larger speaker fees plus more speaking engagements.  If the men that look like us, that we grow up with, love on, invest in won't protect us given the right circumstances who will?

Now having said all of that there are some Black men out there who have and always will protect and defend us and for them I cannot say thank you enough.  They don't make the news because they don't need the attention.  Men like my father and brother, my cousins and a few great friends never make me question my support of them.  Still others will always be one power move away from being the next Daniel Cameron.